The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why
we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to
know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.
I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
religions
that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more
than
one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year,
"...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take
into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations
with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic
and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
